My Own Private Little Hell

Last night, I decided to give Spencer a bath this weekend. We have three towels that are deemed appropriate for "Spencer use" as it's difficult to wash all the hair out, and I don't so much enjoy using furry towels on myself. So we have these three particular towels, and all three were dirty. Spencer had been dragging one around the house, and the other two were left in a heap on the front steps after Scott used them, presumably to dry off motorcycles or some such thing. No biggie, I'll just throw them in the wash, right?

So I stepped outside the front door, picked up each towel, still wet from the recent rain, and gave it a good shake. Included in this pile, I found several microfiber cloths that Scott also uses to dry and/or clean bikes. I shook them out a bit as well, scooped everything up, and put it all in the washer with the detergent and Borax (for an added KICK! just like the box says).

About an hour later, I opened the washer and pulled out the towels, one by one, tossing them into the dryer. As the bottom of the washer was slowly uncovered, I discovered the legless corpse of a large stinkbug, resting on its back in the bottom of the machine. I shuddered at the sight of it, then it slowly dawned on me that it probably wasn't the only one. Every fall these bugs descend on our home in near biblical quantities, desperate to escape the approaching cold weather. They come in through doors, windows, vents, and now apparently, towels. I slowly pulled the towels out of the dryer, and piled them on the floor. I picked one of the microfiber cloths out of the pile, and looked it over. Stuck in the nap were no less than three dismembered bug legs. I nearly wept.

As some of you may know, I have a thing about bugs. I can't touch them. They squick me right out. I can't even bear the thought of feeling them through a tissue, and so refuse to squish them. The thought of picking little bug parts off the towels nearly sent me over the edge. But somehow the shame of throwing all those towels away and replacing them felt even worse, so I got a paper towel and started picking... I think I may have actually constructed a second personality in order to cope with this.

Once all the towels had been scrutinized and transferred from either the washing machine or the "Possibly Horrific" pile, and placed into a new "Bug Free" pile, I had to deal with the washer itself. Inside there were four stinkbugs, all belly up and limbless, and a few legs. Seeing as how I adamantly refuse to touch or even feel bugs- especially big ones- this presented a challenge. Fortunately, I was able to use one of those large postcard-type ads from the mail to sort of scoop the suckers out and into the garbage. All the towels went back in the wash, with a little extra detergent and Borax to put my mind at ease.

Once the second wash finished, the towels were once again inspected (just to be sure) and are now in the dryer. I will have to remember to wear gloves or something when emptying the lint trap... one can never be too careful. Scott has been officially banned from leaving towels outside, and I had a much needed drink- a big one.

P.S. Is it weird that in my mind, the card used to scoop the bugs is no longer recyclable? It touched dead bugs, so now it has to go in the garbage... That seems reasonable to me, but at the same time it seems like something other people would mock me over.