Wasps and Knobs

There are wasps all over the place. They have been looking for places to live, and unfortunately they've been looking where we live. Those stingy little fuckers hover endlessly around our windows and deck, exploring all the nooks and crannies. Our deck, by the way, is not even wood- it's that plastic stuff, so no tasty wood pulp to lure them there. Scott has doused the doors and windows with his Crazy Wasp Killing Spray, and took a few wasps down, too. That shit is potent! As soon as the spray hits 'em, they fall to the ground dead. Awesome. This morning a wasp found it's way into our room, and wasn't too pleased when we told him he had to go. There was a battle, but Scott won. I hope they eventually find other places to live, and leave us alone.

The weather is pretty awesome today... it's in the mid-upper 70's and mostly sunny with a gentle breeze. If only every day of the summer could be like this. Hopefully there will be a few more weeks of mild weather before the oppressive heat and humidity settle in. I have high hopes for this year... 2005 was super hot, 2006 wasn't too bad, 2007 was super hot, so maybe 2008 will be okay? And by "okay" I mean not 95 degrees with 90% humidity for two months straight, except for that day it rained. Like last year.

Yeah, I'm in the minority. Most people sit around all winter waiting for the warm, sunny days of summer, and they like to go on vacation in places like Florida, Hawaii or Vegas. Not me. I sit around all summer, with the air conditioner blasting waiting for the cool, brisk weather of autumn to return. The idea of vacationing somewhere tropical gives me hives- I'd rather go to Alaska, New England or Europe. I spend inordinate amounts of time plotting ways to move to Maine. Maryland is great, but from May to September it is just crazy hot. Is there anyplace in the US that is exactly like Maryland, but ten degrees cooler in the summer? That's where I want to go.

There's nothing new with the house. Scott tells me I should use our tax rebate to do my knitty room, so that will be the first room done. Well, except for the carpet- that will get done after we've finished all the painting. That's pretty much all we've done- establish an order of completion. First we do all the painting, except for the kitchen. Then we put in the new floors, except for the kitchen. Then we replace the kitchen counter top and sink. Then we paint the kitchen. Then we do the kitchen floor. It seems like there is a ton to do, since we have to repaint all the doors and trim too. And there are a myriad of other projects to tackle: replace/repair window screens, replace cheap blinds with respectable window coverings, replace hideous brass lighting fixtures, fix the furnace, and eventually replace the appliances with better, black ones. Oh, and replace the front door. I think that's all the major stuff.

No wait. There's more- like getting new furniture, getting new non-brass doorknobs, putting knobs and draw pulls on the kitchen cabinetry, and renovating all 2.5 baths. Haha, we also want to install extra cabinets in the kitchen (possibly get a rolling island), and buy a wicked pot rack. I've also got my heart set on replacing the switch plates with much cooler ones. We've got us some high expectations.

The knobs are my favorite part. I've been looking online, and learned that doorknobs are lot more expensive than I realized ($40-130!), but they are so great. We hope to put a different knob on every door. And on every cabinet door or drawer too (they'll probably be all the same finish but different designs)! That way we can match each doorknob to the room. It just seems more interesting that way.

If we actually manage to accomplish any of this, I'll let you know.

Warning: Super Photo-heavy Post Ahead!

I managed to take a bunch of pictures of the drive home last week without killing myself or others, though many were pure crap. Apparently stuff wooshing past the window at 45 mph doesn't show up too well in photos. But here are the ones that were okay, they don't all have fun captions, as I'm just not that creative.

The first one is on the main road. Nothing really special.

Now we're onto the side streets, note the hidden abandoned building on the right side of the road.
This road is barely wide enough for two cars to pass. Ask me how I know.
Same road as last photo...
And again.
Now I'm at the next road- see the log cabin? It's white on one side.
Farm!
Turny road.
More turniness on the left, farm on the right.

This is Sugarloaf Mountain:
Farm!


This place is filthy with big, old, awesome houses. One day I will have one.

And now we're in Buckeystown, which is in Frederick County. It's a small, historic town.

And that's all of 'em. Hope I didn't kill anybody's interwebs with all the photos.

Ah, Frederick

Scott and I have been in Frederick for about a month now, so I figured it's a good time to tell you about it.

My drive to and from work has been the biggest change, growing from two to about twenty miles each way. The morning commute is sort of crappy- I have to leave at 6 a.m. and it's a slow, dull drive the whole way there. But the ride back is much more enjoyable, especially since I have a tendency to take the back roads home. There is nothing better than flying over hills and around farms on a twisty deserted road, with the windows down and the music blasting... I almost wish the drive were longer. It's sort of a gas-suck, as opposed to just taking the expressway, but it's worth it.

If you're wondering why I don't take the back way on the way to work, well, I did once. It turns out that all those twisty, hilly roads that are so great in the afternoon, are pitch. fucking. black. at 6 in the morning, and often shrouded in fog. I had to go well below the speed limit to avoid veering off the road, and it wound up taking nearly twice as long to get to work. Perhaps when the sun comes up a little earlier, this will become an option.

I'm toying with the idea of taking photos of the drive home- maybe snapping one every five minutes or so, so you can see how awesome it is. I just have to figure out a way to do this without killing myself (or others). It's hard to just stop on the side of the road, due to lots of blind turns and the fact that often there is barely enough room for two cars to pass on some of these roads. Hmm. I'll figure something out.

So what else... Scott found this spooky, abandoned house just down the street:

Can't say I've seen anything like that in Germantown. There are a lot of old, abandoned buildings around. I like them, they add character. There's also a lot of farms- there's even a farm down the street where you can get grass-fed Angus. Developers in Germantown like to buy farms, tear them down and build townhouses in their place. Farms are much nicer. Those in Illinois should note that the farms here are of the happy "what every farm should be like" variety, and not the sad, creepy factory farms you see there. Or ugly, flat corn fields. Picture rolling, green hills, dotted with horses, cows or sheep. I will try to get photos.

The weather here is even a smidge better. It's usually a couple degrees colder here, which can mean the difference between drizzle and flurries (I much prefer the flurries). Hopefully, it will also be a couple degrees cooler in the summer.

At night, the skies are full of stars. Granted, it's the luck of our location (newer area, not yet overbuilt, not too close to downtown), but it is nice to be able to see the Pleiades and other fun constellations. I'm always on the lookout for UFOs, being so close to DC and numerous military bases I'd be foolish not to. I thought I saw one once, but it turned out to be a goose. Maybe next time. I have seen several shooting stars, whereas in Germantown they were hard to catch even when there was a major meteor shower.

All in all, Frederick is far superior to Germantown. I plan on taking more pictures to better illustrate that point, if only I can remember to bring the camera when I leave the house...

Octoweiners

They are awesome. Revel in their glory.

GE Blows Goats

I'm officially adding GE Service to my list of despised entities. I have no qualms with the appliances themselves, mind you... just the service folks.

You might remember from my last post that we needed to get our stove fixed. Our first service appointment was on the 7th, from 1-5 p.m. In order to make it home by then I had to work late the day before and be at work at 5 a.m. Super fun. At least the guy showed up at 1 p.m. on the nose- so I wasn't sitting around all afternoon thinking about how I had gotten up at 3:30 a.m. for nothing. He checked out the damage, and quoted me $224. That's pretty shitty, considering he was only replacing four $13 parts, which would take him all of 20 minutes. But we can't order the parts from GE ourselves, so what could we do? He set up another appointment for the 14th at the same time. Which was awesome, because I love getting up at 3:30 in the fucking morning. On my birthday. So I messed with my work schedule again, and luckily it was slow at work so my boss didn't mind too much.

Fast forward to the 14th. I was at work, and it was about 11:15 a.m. when my phone rang. It was an automated message letting me know that I'm next and the service guy is on the way. WTF!? And the only choices I was given by the automated bitch was to confirm that I'd be there or cancel the appointment altogether. Well fuck if I'm going to cancel now, just to deal with this shit again the next Friday-not to mention live without a friggin' stove for another week. No way. So I confirmed, and yelled something to my boss about "the douchebag is early" as I ran out the door (I have an extremely understanding boss).

As I was screaming down the expressway, I kept hoping that A) there were no cops around B) the service guy was further away from my house than I was and C) traffic doesn't suck ass. At the same time I was muttering obscenities (as I'm prone to do) and yelling like a crazy person at people who suck at driving. Luckily, traffic was clear enough that I was able to speed the whole way home, and there were no cops.

I was a few blocks away from home when my phone rang again. It was the service guy. "You're not at home?" No shit! I told him I was just a few minutes away, and was getting there as fast as I could. At least he didn't just leave. When I pulled into my parking space, I noticed he wasn't in visitor parking. We have pretty clearly marked parking- numbers for residents and other spaces that say VISITOR in big white letters. I almost said something, but decided I'd rather see him get towed. Anyways, I rush inside and put the dog away as he got started. The guy could probably tell how furious I was, but I suck at being a jerk, so he just fixed the oven and left. I figure it's over now, and I'll likely never have to deal with this again. But it wasn't quite over.

Last night, at 10:09 p.m. my phone rang. I had been in bed for about half an hour at this point, and was just on the cusp of falling asleep, so you can imagine how irritated I was to find out it was fucking GE. What is wrong with these people? It was some woman calling to ask me about my experience. OMGWTFBBQ??!?1! You want my opinion? Learn how to tell time!

In reality, I was much to sleepy to fully grasp the magnitude of my own annoyance. So I just started answering her questions... but when she came to whether or not the guy showed up in the allotted window, I sprang. No! He certainly did not! I explained how he came nearly an hour and a half early, causing me to have to run out of work early. But her scripted survey was not prepared for this, as her next questions were "How late was he?" He wasn't late, he was early. "Did he apologise and/or explain why he was late?" No, because he was early. Obviously, I was dealing with a complete dolt. My annoyance grew, but I knew if I got all crabby on her ass, I'd wind up waiting to talk to a supervisor, and I really just wanted to go back to bed. Besides, I could always vent later in my blog. So I finished her questions and went to bed. And now here I am. Rant over.

The Joys of Home-ownership

We are quickly discovering the many wonderful things that come with owning your own home- like a massive stream of unending repairs. We officially moved in last weekend, and have discovered a few things about our new home.

For instance, the lovely unobstructed westward view comes with a small price: the wind hits the house like a friggin' freight train. To be fair, today's wind storm was pretty intense with gusts up to 50 mph, but I honestly thought the windows were going to implode into the living room. Also, the windows are super drafty- so drafty that there was an actual breeze as I sat on the couch. I created a temporary solution out of some wadded-up paper towel bits and packing tape, but that can't last very long.

We also managed to break the oven. We did this by incorrectly lifting the range top to clean it, and busting the little gas pipes that lead to the burners. It turns out this was a $224 mistake, which sucks. But what sucks more is that the GE guy can only give me a window "between 1 and 5 p.m." That equals a lot of fucking with my schedule at work so I don't lose any PTO. I don't think my boss is too happy with that, so I've been busting extra ass to try to make up for my jackassary.

Oh, and that's not all! As it turns out, the doorknob on our only entrance is a bit, um... temperamental. Sometimes it will unlock, sometimes not so much. We discovered this earlier this evening when Scott tried to leave. The door refused to open. We locked and unlocked it, but the handle refused to turn. Eventually Scott forced it with a screwdriver, which seemed to correct whatever issue it was having, and he left. Later, when I tried to walk the dog, I couldn't get it to open again. After deciding that my barrage of obscenities wasn't helping, I tried the screwdriver. Nothing. If you look at this picture...

...you can maybe see how it's pretty easy to jam a Flathead in there and push the latch in manually. But that little fucker wouldn't budge. I didn't know what else to do so I took the inside half off, carefully, so that the outside part of the knob stayed in place. I don't know the first thing about doorknobs, so I just jiggled things around a bit. I noted how a flat poky bit controls the lock, and a square poky bit is what turns to open the latch. There was more jiggling, then I decided I was completely lost and maybe I should just put it back together. Very carefully, as to not push the outside half of the knob out of the door, I screwed it back in place. And somehow, it was magically fixed. Finally, poor Spencer was able to pee. I left the door ajar while we were out (I'm no fool) and when we came in I tested it again. It's as though nothing happened. We'll be relying solely on the deadbolt for a while, just in case, but everything seems okay for now.

And since I'm in a ranting mood, can I just bitch about Comcast for a minute? I hate Comcast like nothing else. We've had horrible experiences with their cable, internet, and customer service. When we bought this house, we knew they were the only option for high-speed internet, but we were willing to deal with it. We hoped that since it wasn't an apartment, the signal would be better- which it is. But still not as good as Verizon. I miss Verizon, and their HDTV package with DVR, and their superior internet speeds. All for the same price as what we're paying Comcast for shittier TV (without HD channels or the DVR) and slower internet speeds. Bah! I hate you so hard, Comcast. Hopefully soon Verizon will come save us from your craptacular tyranny.

I know, this is a lot of bitching. Mostly, it's great owning a house, and really exciting too. While there are times when I miss the ease of renting, there are far more times when I do NOT miss the inability to fix things the right way (as opposed to the cheapest way) or have something other than white walls and beige carpet. Once we move past the "fixing" stage and into the "decorating" stage, I'll feel a lot better.

Hair: Fixed!

Yesterday I called desperately for an appointment to get my hair fixed, but each place I called said they were booked. Okay, so maybe I only called two places... but when one salon screws up your hair, you tend to get a little persnickety about who you want to fix it. Anyhoo, the second salon I called, O'Hair Salon & Spa, had a slot open today.


Having to wait another day to fix the atrocity upon my head was tough, but I managed to pull through. Besides, I had a good feeling about this place. They have a decent website, and are located in the Kentlands- a not too shitty part of town. When I got there I filled out a little form and the receptionist gave me a little tour, ending at the salon. The woman who did my hair, Stacey, was super nice. And she reaffirmed my belief that the haircut I was given on Monday was clearly meant for a soccer mom. Long story short, she snipped away and this is what I left with:

Nice and short! Just like I wanted. And Stacey says it's total bullshit that I can't have short hair just because it's fine. I like Stacey. She knows what I want to hear.

I also left with a couple of new products to try out: a thickening serum and a pomade. I am so stoked. The only downside of having short hair is that I have to go back every 5 weeks or so for a trim (before I would just chop off a few inches every six months). The big question is whether or not I'll still love it a month from now. I bet I will.