Well Okay Then

The past month (or two or three) have been a little nutty. Actually a lot nutty. It turns out that Scott wants a divorce, and as he can afford the mortgage, I will be moving out. I don't really want to get into the hows and whys of it all on the internets, but the very, very general summery of it is as follows:

Things were very, very tense between us for several months. A few weeks ago, I asked if it was over. He said yes. It's not what I wanted, but one person does not a marriage make. There was a week or so of debilitating depression before I picked myself up by the bootstraps and decided my only choice was to move on.

I think my mildly traumatic adolescence has led to my brain developing a few crossed wires. When life is good, I find things to complain about. I develop anxieties. I pretty much suck at being happy. It's like I'm just waiting for a shoe to drop somewhere. But when something epically shitty happens, I'm right at home. I feel normal. Suddenly I'm making plans and doing things and being a generally normal, productive adult. So the past couple weeks have been surprisingly not that bad.

I got an apartment. Things are being done to move our separation along smoothly. It seems like the pieces are coming together nicely to form my own little life sans Scott. I'm doing a fantastic job of grasping tightly to any good that has come of the situation- I can decorate any way I want. I can watch crappy movies without hearing snide comments. When I buy ice cream it won't disappear in two days before I've had a chance to eat any. It's truly the little things that count, folks.

And to be honest, I'm pretty stoked about living by myself. I went straight from living at home to living with Scott, so it's new territory for me. It's a little scary, but I'm sure it will be good for me.

So anyway, that's what I've been up to the past several weeks. My moving date is March 6th, so until then I'll mostly be packing and getting ready. Hopefully I will get settled quickly, so I can take a zillion pictures of the awesomeness I have planned for my new place (two words: pink pegboard).

Wish me luck!