Chemical Delirium

I've got serotonin issues. I always have. Ever since junior high, I've lived with some level of depression and/or anxiety. It's run unchecked and unmedicated more often than not, but recently I went to the doctor and got put back on meds. Hooray! She also gave me a little bottle of insta-happy for any panic attacks I get until they fully kick in. The serotonin boosters are not new to me, but these happy pills... They had me both nervous and intrigued.

I was worried that I'd take one during a panic attack while out in public, and have some sort of horrible reaction- which would increase my anxiety and (in my imaginary scenario) reduce me to a sobbing heap of embarrassment in the middle of a restaurant. So I thought I had better test drive one at home first. I took one last night when I got home from knit night. Wow. These babies will even make going to the dentist a pleasant experience. I feel very hopeful that my life will be more action-packed and fun-filled.

And if that's not awesome enough, my cholesterol is down! My first ever test was 221- and that was after being a vegetarian for nearly a year. My next test was 234, and that was after trying to eat a little better and get a bit of exercise. Now I'm down to 202! That's just 3 points out of the normal range! Oddly enough, I've stopped caring about what I eat and abandoned any hope of getting regular exercise. I've decided that the best explanation is that more donuts = lower cholesterol.

This last week Scott and I had our 9 year anniversary, and I'm really sort of amazed that he's put up with my neurotic ass for so long. Secretly, I know that I'm the the hard one to live with, even though I like to pretend it's him. I just hope he'll keep sticking it out with me. Hopefully Medicated Amanda will be slightly less of a pain in the ass.